How To: Heal

You don’t have to feel bad about your anxiety, depression, or the impact that life is having on you in general. These circumstances can be a big part of life, and they are incredibly valid. Coping with these things are very unique to every individual, and dealing with these things can be very challenging. But you are more than what you struggle with, and deserve to cope how you see fit. Below, some of my pointers in healing:

Learn to be your own best friend
“Healing isn’t about changing who you are, it’s about changing your relationship to who you are.” -Suzanne Heyn.


The biggest part about learning to become your own best friend is to learn how to talk positively to yourself. If you’ve ever tried to look at yourself in the mirror and say something kind to your being, and ended up feeling embarrassed, you were not alone. It can be really difficult to talk kindly to yourself. But, being kind to yourself doesn’t always come from out-loud thinking. It often stems from inside.


Learning to be your own best friend means that you are recognizing something that is weighing you down, and wanting that feeling to change. Learning to be your own best friend means that you are putting your emotional and mental health first. You deserve so much more credit than what you’re giving yourself.


Get Moving
It’s so important to find movement that you love, and that makes you feel good. Your body loves movement, and it needs it. To start feeling more confidently in yourself, you have to start moving. You’ll learn to appreciate everything your body does for you, and it’s proven that being active brings about so much mental and emotional release and clarity. 


Encourage yourself to start adopting a better way of coping. Go on walks, runs. Start boxing, lifting. Take a spin class, a yoga class. Start searching for a form of movement that you really enjoy. It’s only going to bring good things. 


Start Selfcare
Selfcare does not always have to be wine and a hot bath. Selfcare can be reflection and making future changes. Selfcare can look like oneself looking inward and seeing what you can find. It may be a good idea to start journaling. One of the best ways to start feeling better about yourself, is to decipher what you’re grateful for every day. And if you’re in a self-esteem spiral, try to list 5 to 10 things that you love about yourself or what you did that day, everyday. These simple, self reflective practices have been proven to automatically boost negative moods and thinking.


Selfcare also looks like reading and resting when you have other things to accomplish. It looks like crying and relapsing. It looks like skincare, or experimenting with makeup. It looks like long canyon drives. It looks like turning off your phone for the day. It looks like therapy. It looks like pottery, art, crafts. It gets to look like whatever you want it to look like. And it’s allowed to look like struggle and strife. It does not have to be pretty. What matters is that it’s consistent, unique to your individuality, and that you’re making an effort to do something that brings a little bit of joy or peace to your life. 


Be Proactive 
When you start to feel like you’re in a thought and negative life spiral, repeat the steps to move forward. It can be incredibly easy to forget the strengths that you have within yourself. Sometimes it’s hard to believe in better days, and in trusting that your struggle will cease. 


You have to remember that you still have a lot of time to make yourself whatever and whoever you want to be. You are allowed to fall in love with everything you are. You are allowed to fall in love with your dreams, ambitions, and aspirations. You create your own happiness. You get to choose your own thoughts, words, actions, perceptions, and other external forces. You are already a beautiful being just waiting to blossom for everyone else to see. You are making progress. 


Try to love your today’s, and be more optimistic about your tomorrow’s. Every day is your fresh start. Keep growing love for yourself, and learn how to nurture it. You will always need it. You are entirely worthy of a happy and confident life. And at the very core of your being, lies the strength, persistence, and confidence that you need to continue.  So, when you start to feel like you are heading down to spiral, it’s time to reflect and conquer. 


If you are struggling with life, it’s okay. Be consistent and patient. You are already a beautiful being; and you deserve to feel that for yourself. You don’t have to be a whole human right now. You’re allowed to struggle, to not be okay in any form. Healing is not linear; it’s not meant to be. You’re allowed to feel and deal with hard things, and you’re allowed to take your time in coming back from them. You don’t have to erase your trauma and dealings to be okay again. You will be whole again. Always be authentic to how you’re feeling. Healing gets better the longer it continues. There are still so many things you haven’t experienced; so many things you haven’t even gotten to yet. So many doors are still waiting to be opened by you. There is purpose in your pain; start believing your abilities to get through it. You have incredible strength within you, and it’s time to tap into that.