My feller and I have been living with one another for almost 6 months, and have adjusted our daily lives and personal lifestyles accordingly. In this endeavor, I’m sure that he and I, and all of us who live with our partner’s have experienced and recognized that it’s not as easy or all-the-time-exciting as we thought. But there are ways to combat these feelings that can help keep the sharing of life together healthy, happy and still exciting.
MAKE TIME FOR EACH OTHER’S SPACE
HAVE THOSE DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS
FIND A WAY TO REALLY SPEND TIME TOGETHER
RESPECT THE STRUGGLE
At the end of the day, these memories will end up being ones that everyone will look back on and enjoy, so we should all try to continue to enjoy the time now.
There is never a certain time or a specific place for true love to find one another. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat; in a single flashing, throbbing moment. You never plan to fall. You never plan to look for something. And then it stands in front of you, and you wonder where it’s been the whole time.
That love will be different. The way they’ll stare at you won’t remind you of the bittersweet, lusted, drunken looks others gave you. Their eyes won’t make you feel hollow and insecure, you’ll feel safe and in the right skin. They’ll implant a lasting moment in your brain, and all it took was a simple “hello.” You won’t have to pretend to be different. You won’t have to pretend to fake how your heart really feels. All of a sudden it’ll be easy. In finding time, you’ll be able to find yourself. With them, you’ll no longer glance around to see who was staring before you kissed them or held their hand tighter. All of a sudden, it won’t matter who was looking, and for the first time in your life, you just won’t care. They will be all that matters. That’s how you’ll know it’s different.
One of the most amazing things that can happen is finding someone who sees everything that you are, and doesn’t allow you to be anything less. It’s seeing the potential in one another. It’s seeing the endless possibilities among each other. And through each other’s eyes, it’s beginning to see yourself as someone who matters, as someone who has a place in the world. Somewhere in the middle of self-discovery, they’ll come along and decide to treasure you. They’ll hold your hand and they won’t let it go. They’ll hug you so tight that you’ll forget anything was wrong. They’ll do everything to protect the fragility of your heart. They’ll stand by your side, and will have built you up from the pain that’s broken you. They’ll care for your heart like it’s the most precious gift they’ve ever been given, like it’s the most precious and priceless thing in the world, and it just rests in their hands. They’ll love you in ways that you’ve never imagined possible. They’ll choose you, over and over again, without question. They’ll show you that love is choosing to stay, no matter what comes your way.
Love begins in not trying to find anything and then suddenly realizing; you have something. Somehow, you’ll end up utterly, undoubtedly, and entirely complete.
Wait for someone kind.
Wait for someone respectful, not only in the beginning stages of the relationship when things are bright are beautiful, but also when things get difficult and messy. Wait for someone who respects your boundaries, and does not force you to do anything that you’re not willing or ready to do.
Wait for someone who is giving and does not keep count of the good things that they do for you.
Wait for someone who challenges you mentally, someone who constantly inspires you to be a better person than you were yesterday.
Wait for someone who takes their time to learn and understand you.
Wait for someone who is consistent with their efforts in showing you how much they care about you.
Wait for someone who wants to be apart of your world, and wants you to be apart of theirs.
Wait for someone who lets you know that you’re on their mind, someone who checks in on you, someone who wants you to know that they care for you. Wait for the person who doesn’t let you forget those important things.
Wait for someone who is willing to commit to you, someone who is willing to choose you.
Wait for someone who makes love feel easy, calm, and like coming home.
Wait for someone sincere. Someone who doesn’t confuse you because their actions match their words. Wait for someone honest.
Wait for someone who does their absolute best not to hurt or disappoint you, someone who strives to protect your heart.
Wait for someone who will choose you over and over and over again. Love is a choice you make every single day, and you deserve to find the kind of person who shows up for who you are, what you share, and for someone who believes in you.
Wait for someone who is not perfect, but rather, real; raw. Perfect is an illusion. Real is where you find something rare and special.
Wait for someone who reminds you that love was always meant to be soft.
Someday, you won’t be sorry for opening up your heart and giving love a real shot. Someday you’ll be glad that you kept your heart alive and hopeful. Someday your heart will thank you for not giving up on love after everything you’ve been through, everything you’ve seen, experienced; and everyone who gave you a reason not to believe in love. Someday you’ll be glad that you still have it in you to share your world with someone; because when that time comes, they won’t leave. You’ll finally feel secure. They’ll want to be apart of every story and every memory and every occasion you’ll make for the rest of your life.
Someday you’ll finally understand why some people had to leave and why you had to walk away, why you were so broken. Your heartbreaks will finally mean something and make so much sense that they won’t even hurt anymore. Someday you’ll have clarity. You’ll understand why some people came into your life but weren’t meant to stay or why some people didn’t want to understand that you didn’t want to pretend something was real when it wasn’t. You won’t have to chase anyone anymore, because what’s yours will truly want to stay.
Someday you won’t be sorry for bringing someone home and introducing them to your friends and family because this time, they’re not going to let you down. They’re here to show up and come through, so that you never again have to see the disappointment in your own and loved ones eyes. Someday you won’t be scared. You won’t be scared to tell your mom about the boy who brought you back to life. You won’t be afraid to tell your dad that you’re incredibly loved and that you’re not worried about your future anymore.
Someday you’ll be proud of your vulnerability. You won’t think twice about sending a text or saying ‘I love you.’ You won’t be afraid to express yourself. Someday everything will fall into place, everything will make sense. Everything that you’ve ever learned or perceived about love will be wiped out by someone who shows you what true love really is.
Someday, you’re going to look back on the lonely nights, painful breakups and nasty fights; but they finally won’t mean a damn thing. You’ll be able to focus on the one who is finally being gentle with you and your heart, and you’ll be so glad that you didn’t quit. You’ll be so grateful that you didn’t allow the wrong one to stay or give you a false impression of what love can really be. Someday you’re going to feel so grateful about never losing hope and believing in something real, against all other odds.
The best portions of our lives will be the small, nameless moments that we spent smiling with someone who matters most to us. Please, strive to discover foundational love. The kind of relationship that motivates you to be a better man or woman. Strive to wait for the kind of intimacy that is rare and real, rather than right then and there just because it’s right then and there.
Love is meant to be soft. You aren’t asking for too much in this world; just the wrong prospects. But the right prospect is coming. You won’t have to settle. You’ll find the being who reciprocates your love without question, encourages your growth, helps you reach your goals, and celebrates milestones with you. You’ll find the being who sees everything in you—the light, the dark, the stable, the messy—and still chooses to stay. You’ll find the being who wants to ruthlessly protect you, love you, and cherish you with absolute certainty. You’ll find the being who brings you peace. The being who laughs in bed with you from 2–4am, the being behind your smile dancing across your cheeks. The being who wants to slow dance with you anywhere, even though you’re both horrendous at it. The being who lets you squeeze their hand during the scary parts of the movie. You’ll find the being who knows they want all of it with you; the being who finally chooses all in rather than nothing. The being who doesn’t love you in halves and holds your heart with the utmost respect.
Release whatever holds you back from the best days of your life that are to come. Love is not meant to be painful, draining, or impossible. Love is not forced or toxic. Love is good. Release anything that does not honor that.
Your sunniest memories are coming.
It’s become such a rarity nowadays to find someone to fall in love with and stay in love with. People seem to forget how beautiful it is to grow old with someone, to build and witness someone’s progression and to conquer obstacles as a team instead of facing them alone. There so much thrill in the comfortability and knowing someone like the back of your hand.
I’ve never needed to fill my happiness with temporary people or things or places. I had always wanted something real, someone so genuine that they’re worth lasting a lifetime with. Someone who’s willing to invest the time and effort that’s needed to win instead of forfeiting when here’s no coming back. I understand that it’s nearly impossible nowadays to count on someone with all of your heart and soul. It’s more dangerous, more risky. But I’m not just in it for a reason, season or lifetime. I’m in it for all three.
When I first laid my eyes on him, I saw a glimpse of my future. A future where I’d come running to you at the end of an exhausting day to take rogue in your warm cozy arms and rest my head on you like there is no care in the world, a future where’d you’d be the last thing my eye see at the end of each and everyday and the beginning of all my mornings for the rest of my life.
When I first saw him, I had the strange feeling within my soul, something that I never had before. It was a feeling of safety, of warmth, of happiness and genuine joy. A moment that felt like an eternity of feelings. All it needed was one look, one heartbeat. That was all it needs to realize that I finally found my place; where I want to spend the rest of my life; home.
They say a good love is one that sits you down, gives you a drink of water, and pats you on the top of the head. I say that a good love is one that casts you into the wind, sets you ablaze, lets you fly, makes you burn through the skies and ignite the night like a Phoenix. The kind that cuts you loose like a wildfire. A love that burns, that flies. A love that you run with.
Encouraging healthy relationships and promoting healthy changes.